Baked Mini-Pumpkins

November 1st used to be exclusively for rummaging though discount bins at Halloween stores for bulk quantities fifty cent fishnets. By 10am I’d be fully stocked for another year of mosh pit-ready legwear… Continue reading

Parmesan Crisps/Cups (or “That Girl’s Apartment Smells Like Fried Cheese”)

Did you know that packeted parmesan tastes like fish? True story. There’s something about the little N’joy envelopes of cheese I’ve been pinching from Costco’s food court that smacks of burnt salmon skin.… Continue reading


Who has two thumbs and is the caboose on the pumpkin train? This girl. I’m way behind on this one, so stop reading and go to any strip mall parking lot that had… Continue reading

A wild salsa appears!

… but is it super effective? Since when is this a thing?

Crème Anglaise

Reader suggestions are exciting for a couple of reasons. Primarily, they absolve me of the annoying part of the process (staring blankly at my overflowing condiment bucket with hopes of inspiration).  Second, they… Continue reading

What now?

It’s pumpkin coffee season! Being a resourceful gal, I decided to save the remaining few dollars on my Starbucks gift card for a true emergency (whatever a coffee emergency might look like) and… Continue reading

Honey Butter

I subscribe to the theory of men wanting either food, sex, or sleep at any given time.  One of these factors in practice is enough to temporarily keep a man’s attention, but two in… Continue reading


Over the past 29.5 years, I’ve done all sorts of interesting stuff. Between working in an adult boutique (martial aides on commission = worst job in the world), to scouring Nushagak Bay, Alaska… Continue reading

Deviled Eggs

I started writing this two days ago, right before eating seven eggs in about half an hour. The time since has been spent in a nauseous state of self loathing and avoidance of… Continue reading

Buffalo Fries

The taste of buffalo sauce makes me think of a more innocent time; a time where my ex-bestie and I would perch ourselves on bar stools that were way too small for our… Continue reading