Jacked-up Honey BBQ Sauce

I’v never had a good idea of what’s normal and what isn’t in terms of… well, anything, but I suspect there’s some semblance of normality in wanting to purge your belongings and join an obscure European circus right around one’s 30th birthday.  Most of the my tentative plans included travel to an exciting and spontaneously determined destination. Even though I  fell asleep clutching my passport and already had a packed bag by the door, the plan fizzled like a damp firework. I ended up spending most of the day surrounded by naked Korean ladies in Spa World‘s super-luxurious bade pool and then doing a meatfest at Texas de Brazil (where there were no packeted goods to be had, despite my anticipatory carrying of “the big purse”).

In the spirit of purging the contents of my bachelorette pad, I also started to empty out the fridge… namely the vegetable drawer of miscellaneous packets and stray tubs.  Why do I have all this KFC bbq sauce? The hairy-knuckled Persian guy who manages the closest franchise likes to bust a move by inviting me back for closing time when he’ll give me “all the chicken I can handle”.  My  normal response is a smile and nod while his hand intentionally lingers while passing the bag of food, but last time I was feeling cheeky and asked for “all the sauce I can handle”… which I got. So thats how the 6-month-old  pile of bbq sauce came to be, and now I have to figure out what to do with it. Well, it and the melange of lone packets that don’t constitute enough of any one thing to make a recipe with. Another metacondiment? Don’t mind if I do.

This one is for you, Mr. Chubby-chasing Persian KFC manager.

Jacked-up Honey BBQ Sauce


1 part honey

1 part BBQ sauce

Horsey sauce (from Arby’s), Tabasco, A1, red pepper, buffalo sauce, taco sauce, mustard (hot, honey, whatever), etc. Any combination of things in the  “savory” category will work.


  • Heat the honey in a sauce pan on low/medium and stir in BBQ sauce. You can skip the honey altogether, but I dig it for consistency and the way it leaves slightly burnt sugar on my grilled meat. Mmm.
  • Gradually mix in select packets of the other stuff  for specific tastes or whatever random condiments you have lying around for a surprise.
  • Empty the saucepan into an airtight container and store it in the fridge.

Too tired to take pictures of a bbq sauce puddle. Enjoy the stock photo.