Snow Ice Cream
In case you haven’t heard, people in the DC area forgot how to drive Wednesday night. All of them, all at once. Being a native, I’m more or less at peace with the way locals react upon hearing the word “snow”; they stampede the grocery store to buy toilet paper like it’s going to keep them alive, then gawk at the sky like turkeys in the rain until the sun comes out again.
Wednesday night’s “thundersnow” storm vomited about 7″ of snow on DC and it’s suburbs within a handful of hours. Cars were running out of gas from sitting in traffic for 7+ hours, people were relieving themselves in the streets, gas stations ran dry, abandoned (and inconveniently placed) vehicles littered the roads, transformers blew up (people still don’t have power), trees fell and crushed cars, and somehow people couldn’t stop accidentally setting their homes on fire… so the firetruck/meatwagon situation was the icing on the crap cake.
First, a little kvetching before today’s recipe.
Early on, it was almost fun. The sky was flashing purple and the heavy snow made everyone feel like their 1/4mph commute made sense. Nobody had any idea what was coming. It’s not like there were many accidents, just a handful of dumbasses in the area who ruined everyone else’s night “Hey, should we push our immobilized hooptie to the side of the road so people can pass?” “Nah. they’ll understand”. By the time the roads were alright for driving on, nobody could because of the 1mph game of Frogger we had to play with these people’s cars.
Somewhere toward the beginning of the Great Schlep I picked up a stranded single mom who needed gas. It turned out to be the best idea ever, since there was no way to have known my half-tank wouldn’t have gotten me home (6 miles away). The first station we visited was dry, and the second was the last one for miles that had anything. She was actually a lot of fun. We got out of the car a few times to push people out of ruts, exchange jokes with the DILF behind us, and pee on someone’s driveway. I felt awful for her… by the time she got back to her car, the battery had died from having the emergency lights on for hours. My second passenger was an elderly veteran who I took to the nearest gas station (also dry) and back to his car so his son-in-law could pick him up. I don’t think I’ve ever gone so long without using casual profanity. It was nuts. the last passenger was a guy I watched getting kicked out of a car in the middle of an intersection around 2am. Shady, right? turns out he lives in the same apartment complex as I do, so it would have been way to bitchy to refuse him a ride. When I finally got to my parking lot, I jumped the fence to the vet’s office to help their overnight cleaning lady get her minivan moving. After a night like that, who helped me get my skidding SUV into an unplowed parking spot? #%^ing nobody. Karma better be for real, that’s all I’m sayin’.
Though I was never afraid or anxious, the headline “local woman found dead under fallen tree, believed to have been peeing” ran through my head a few times as a very real possibility. It was one of those nightmare scenarios where you wish you had listened to your mother and carried clean underwear with you… just in case.
So after an 8 hour commute (nothing compared to some people’s claim of up to 16 hours) and thinking of all the cool places I could have been after spending so long in the car, I tried to find a silver lining to the situation by Googling “snow recipe”. Snow ice cream. Really. It seems to be a folksy kinda thing that families with young kids and golden retrievers do, but you can always count on me to put the single girl’s spin on food. The original recipe calls for sweetened condensed milk (all I can think of is Simply Sara when I hear that), sugar, and vanilla extract. Hmmmm… what do we love here at the CSC that already has all of those things in it? Flavored creamer? Really? You don’t say.
Snow Ice Cream
1 cup of snow (fresh is best… if it gets icy, the finished product will be crunchy.)
4 flavored creamer tubs (vanilla seems to work well, hazelnut smells like old ladies’ bathrooms, chocolate tastes like store brand ice cream, and I haven’t been hungry enough to try more)
Wisk or fork
- Wisk snow in the bowl until fluffed, then pour in all 4 tubs of creamer
- Continue to mix until the snow is crumbly and holds together when patted down
- Serve immediately, or you’ll have an icky, fragrant puddle.
It doesn’t taste amazing, but if you’re snowed in and need a sweet fix, it’ll do.