Mayandaise

I’ve used the term “favorite mistake” before, but only while tossing around ideas on what to name my future children. I screwed up this morning, and it was delicious.

The hidden benefit of last night’s meringue fail was the 10 yolks that were left over. What are yolks good for? According to the internet: home-made mayonnaise and hollandaise sauce. Great! Two of my favorite things. Actually, hollandaise is one of the best things that can happen to my mouth; I’d say top 5… right up there with open bar and getting frisky with a Bear Jew lookalike.

This was supposed to be a second try at mayo. The first batch got screwed up because I mixed everything together at the same time; the result was soup. “Emulsion” wasn’t a word that I had bothered to learn until today. Apparently its pretty important in cooking, and knowing that is probably going to save me a lot of trashed projects. In a nutshell, it is one liquid is suspended within another.  In this case the oil is suspended within the yolk mix, creating the smooth texture and consistency (not a soupy mess).

If you’ve ever dealt with hollandaise, you know what a pain in the ass it is to break a sweat over preparing a curdle-prone bitch of a sauce that will spoil after a few hours. So this little bit of heaven in a ramekin before me is some sort of  bastard of an emulsion… a favorite mistake. I’m not sure where I went wrong, but I’m glad I did.  It keeps like mayo, but has the knee-buckling  taste of hollandaise. Jar it, refrigerate it, and have eggs benedict whenever you damn please. Pour it over steamed veggis, omelets, or my absolute favorite childhood food: artichoke. Sweet merciful crap I’m salivating.

Mayandaise

3 egg yolks

3 tablespoons (6 packets) lemon juice

1/4 teaspoon (2 packets) salt

1/2 cup oil

  • In a bowl, mix yolks, lemon juice, and salt until smooth
  • Continue to stir while gradually pouring in oil
  • Blend (in a blender) mixture for a few seconds or whip the hell out of it with a wisk
  • Let the mixture stand for a few minutes and stiffen
  • Place in an airtight container and refrigerate until ready for use

After last night’s meringue fiasco, I thought I’d rather set myself on fire than deal with another egg… but I’m glad I did.

My food photography sucks. when I have time to screw around with it, things will change. Deal with it for now.

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