Monthly Archive: August, 2010

Butter-fried Saltines

..or “heart attack crackers” if you prefer. They go by several names; “ice water crackers” being the most recognizable. If I ever had a party that warranted canapés, I’d make them with these. So salty…… Continue reading

Faple candy

Faple = faux maple. Get it? Lulz. This actually tastes a lot more like toffee than maple syrup. After my ritual wake-up-and-stick-my-face-in-the-fridge, all I could make out through squinty eyes was an ancient… Continue reading

Mayandaise

I’ve used the term “favorite mistake” before, but only while tossing around ideas on what to name my future children. I screwed up this morning, and it was delicious. The hidden benefit of… Continue reading

Meringue fail.

As promised, Saturday night was spent scavenging flavored creamers and attempting meringue cookies. Sadly, we never got past the beating of egg whites.  We even consulted the Google oracle to see what we… Continue reading

Dookie Cookies

“How nasty” you might say. Poop cookies? Get over it and mix a batch of this batter, then tell me these don’t look like poop (but taste like… well, peanut butter cookies). Dookie… Continue reading

Friday night mat farming

My Friday night shenanigans landed me in four different eateries and a gas station between dusk and dawn. Among McFuckyuck’s, Taco Bell, a local 24 hour diner, and IHOP, there were enough packets to sustain… Continue reading

Ketchup Bisque

I’m going to kick this off by saying that ketchup soup tastes NOTHING like tomato soup, and trying it made my face do all sorts of awful cartoon-like things. The vinegar in ketchup… Continue reading

She’s doing WHAT?!

Maybe the ability to burn water is an omen for things to come, and maybe someone who doesn’t own an oven mitt shouldn’t be doling out recipes to the public. But hey, we… Continue reading